Hello world, hello you.
I've been wondering how am I supposed to start this post, how am I supposed to bring the topic up, Yes Leo, the thing that has my full concern at this moment, right now.
I want to bring this topic up in a way that I will sound okay, not humble not proud, just okay, and I really want to talk about it. I want to somehow blog about it. I've got this mixed feelings that I can't turn into words. A few words or a few paragraphs are not enough to explain my feeling. That's why yes, it's called mixed feelings.
Okay, to be honest, I've heard from many different people that I was going to be the incoming president for Leo Club, yes I've heard about it and each time they say it, I will just smile and tell them not to think too much, because after all they haven't announce the list yet, so it's the safest and best to not say a word about it.
So I thought I was kind of prepared for it, because so many people told me about it. I thought I was prepared, if they ever said I am the president, and I also thought I was prepared, if they said I ain't.
In my life, I've always thought I am prepared. And deep down inside, I am not, and I certainly did not realize that fact.
When Li Vern was saying/scolding/screaming/acting in front during Leo Meeting, saying that she has got a list of people who ain't contributing enough to the club, and when she said my name, I really believed her. I really don't think I've done enough for the club.
Then the moment Juin-Le wrote the list of posts on the whiteboard, I was nervous, very nervous. Apart from being really nervous, I was worry. I was quite worry, no matter which post I get, I am worry that I won't do well. I kept on telling myself that, don't think that way, for that's a negative start, don't start off this way, just don't.
When Naomi put a pick beside my name, after I wrote my name beside "President: " . I felt nervous, worry, a little surprised, and a slight bit of relieved. Okay, not only those, I felt a lot more. I was a little bit excited, a little afraid, a little bit of everything.
I have got this complicated mixed feelings, yes I call it complicated mixed feelings, and I didn't feel the way I thought I would, I mean after listening to so many people before they annouced the list. And then I realized, I am not exactly prepared. Mentally prepared. After all.
I really thought I was.
Well, not to say I'm totally unprepared. It's just that now I know myself more. A little bit more. So, what I think I feel isn't what I am really feeling. Hmm..
I am thankful that the boardmembers have faith and believe in me. I am really really thankful for that. I mean it, seriously.
I am worry now, but I promise I will give Leo the best that I've got. It's a promise that I will keep.
Nobody knows what's gonna happen the next second, minute, hour, day, month or year. I don't know what will happen, but I have a little bit of confidence, a little bit of faith, and complete trust in my incoming board members.
We might not be very good/awesome now, but we have the potential, will and determination.
I guess with that, we're already on our way to success, for we're at the right path.
Many people congratulated me. Thanks guys. But none of them asked me if I am happy with it. Only Soo Ann did. And I'm thankful for at least one person asked me that.
It's not always you who say/ask the right thing after all.
AH, new challenge, that's what I love in life :)
A lot of stress, a lot of problems, a lot of fun, a lot of laughters, I'm sure overall, the fun will be more than the stress.
Leadership. Experience. Opportunity.
