i don’t know what it is. but lately i have this feelings that i cant understand. this feeling that there is so much lacking and so much longing that i dont even know what it is. the feeling between laughing and crying, the feeling like you want to be with someone but you want to be alone also, the feeling like you are there but not really, the feeling like you’re longing for the past but you’re excited with the future at the same time. this feeling that you cant even put into words, this feelings that you can understand.
And no, this is not depression, actually i can say that im okay now, and im not sad anymore but im not happy either. im not even heartbroken anymore, those broken pieces and pain is now almost healed but at the same time it feels like a fresh cut of blade in your heart. this is not loneliness, this is not anxiety, this is not confusion, this is not nostalgia, this is not insanity either. it is more like the combination of everything that you dont understand. and i call it emptiness, and i dont like it.
uncomfortablesoul | Tumblr
I think recently my blog entries are getting a little too serious HAHA. I guess it's only for holidays. I am just bored. It's not like I have got nothing to do, but I just don't feel like doing what I am supposed to do. For instance,
# Practising piano (The song that I have heard thousand of times but still don't know how to play -_-)
# Finishing my English homework (which includes, EST, Compo, Literature)
Yeap, that's all.
but hey, I did something that's on my Holiday-To-Do-List too okay!
# Rest
# Relax
Well, it may seem like I am just lazy. In fact, yes, I am lazy, espcially during holidays. But rest is important. Same goes to the others. I should really relax now and recharge batteries and have a fresh start when school reopens right? Cause I bet when school starts, I am going to get load of stress due to my awesome results. HAHAHA.
Oh, my compo title is My Idea of Happiness. Though I like blogging and telling you guys whats my idea of happiness, but writing a compo? I am seriously gonna have a hard time doing that due to my poor writing skills T_T
Well, Day 03 today. OMG, I am seriously into blogging recently HAHA cause I have nothing better to do at home -_- My brother and sister are having exams so I can't go out with them and I actually planned to read a book but I can't concentrate and I kind of find blogging fun because I was young I really wanted to be an author HAHAHA. But seriously, I want to write a book. If I ever get a chance to do so. Chance, as in, inspirations :D
I will blog about Day 03 tonight!
WITH LOVE.
p/s: I envy people who blog like once a month? and somehow their entries are still awesome and the words that are put together are often beautiful.
