Hello world, hello you.
SOMETIMES IT LASTS IN LOVE, SOMETIMES IT HURTS INSTEAD.
I wonder how many times have I hit the replay button when I first heard this song on Youtube. This song is so sad yet so beautiful. So beautiful.
Before I click on new post, I just noticed that this will be my 600th entry. I thought I should blog about something special. I don't know why.. it's not like having 600 entries is something to be proud of. But yeah, I thought of blogging about Li Ching's surprise activity. I have been waiting myself to get ready, as in, get over things, I have been waiting for the time to be just right, when I have got the sudden thought to blog about it.
I thought I should wait. Not sure how long, but I thought I should.
Have you guys wondered what's the surprise activity all about? Usually things that upset me, I'd prefer ignoring them than writing them down. Not this time, cause I learned something. And I want this in my blog. Years later when I read these posts, I will look back with nostalgia. It probably won't upset me anymore, but I will remember the lesson that I've learned.
Never wait, for the time won't be 'just right' Quote Gareth.
Am I ready?
REGRETS AND MISTAKES. THEY'RE MEMORIES MADE.
The song is still playing in my head.
Surprise activity. A game. Before the game starts, she told us it's going to be a serious game. Talking and laughing are not allowed. We were divided into three groups. Group A, Group B, and Group C. Each group was required to choose a representative. Volunteers. A guy.
Group A - Gareth
Group B - Jia En
Group C - Brandon
Each group will have 26 people. We have to do the head count (Is it what you call it? Head count?) 26 people. 26 counts. Time will be recorded. The group that used the longest time will be punished. However, not the whole group. Just the representative.
First time he'll have to do 5 push ups, the next time will be 10. Then it'll be 20. It goes on this way.. Yes, multiplication.
There was once, group A and group B had to redo the countings. Because we used the same amount of time. 8.13 seconds, if I am not mistaken. Then when we did the rematch, ugh rematch, I said two numbers. The other group did too. So it ended up Jia En had to receive the punishment.
I don't know how to explain, but I truly felt guilty. The worst part was, that's not the end, yet.
After that, Gareth had to do 20 times of push ups. I knew, everybody knew he was tired, everyone was tired from caving.
The next time, Gareth will have to do 40 times. Li Ching said.
Then our group did the counts. It was so slow, and I wondered why. I was nervous. Very nervous, cause I don't want to make the same mistake again. So I blurted out, Why Are You Guys Doing So.. Then everyone looked at me. Those looks with those facial expressions. I was confused.
Then I found out that my group was slowing down, cause Jia En said so.
I am totally fine with slowing down, if Jia En doesn't mind, really, who will be willing to see Gareth doing 40 times of push ups, anyway? I don't, I didn't mean anything offensive, I don't know what the hell was I doing. I asked because I didn't know. I didn't know, but those few words were really mean things to be said.
I asked because I didn't know. Over and over again, I told myself that, but I still can't help but feel bad.
I feel guilty, and really bad.
I feel bad, but I just can't cry. Everyone was tearing up but I was just staring, staring at Li Ching, wondering how she will feel and trying to ignore what I am feeling inside.
I still feel very guilty. Most people might have forgotten about this small event, but I can feel the guilt still, until now.
Sometimes it's not just all about you, sometimes when you did something wrong, it's the others who face the consequences, sometimes it's not just you. Li Ching said.
I am glad to see that there are actually other group slowing for group A. Though it's a game, but you were still considerate. Jun Shern said.
We are one big family. Brendan said.
I was like. I AM SCREWED. I don't know why am I screwed. but yeah I so screwed. By guilt. It seemed like I was so desperate to win. It seemed that way, and at that moment I had doubt about myself, am I really a person like that? Such a mean one?
Am I ready? I don't know.
Did I sound like I am ready?
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
day 3 for project 30 :)
Alcohol? AH I feel like drinking beer and get drunk right NOW.
No, I am not thinking too much again, not at all :)
No, I am not thinking too much again, not at all :)
So there you go, my 600th post, special enough, huh?
GOODNIGHT! WITH LOVE
p/s: If love were ever a game, well, I am a loser in love.
