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| The view I see each morning when I have breakfast outside with my parents. '2011 |
Actually yesterday I wanted to also blog about something else. My post was supposed to be a little longer, but I didn't include that part in. I don't know why didn't I blog about all that I want to actually, but it somehow just turned out to be that way.
people think blogging is extremely easy, just writing only what right? WRONG. sometimes it's hard to sit down and type and express yourself properly, when all these different events and stories and experiences are just bubbling inside of you, threatening to spill out.
-Lee Xia
Okay, that's the feeling which I couldn't put in the words, at all. I get that feeling all the time, and I don't like it. I usually have this feeling when I'm done with all my work yet. When I still have something half hanging, undone. Like now. I've my Add Maths homework, my schedule for the weekend not planned, my tests, Finals, projects etc. So much to do, yet so little time. That's why I'm having this feeling which I can't express what I want to talk about now. As in, I can't express it properly. I get this feeling, when I've got too much to say.
In this case, you can say that it's a little of both. I'm feeling insecure due to super a lot undone work, as well as I've got too much to express.
I guess I didn't quite do a lot during this one week holiday. The only thing that I got in this one week holiday is Inspiration. I've been thinking quite a lot about many things. Nothing specific, actually. My mind is always filled with something, though I wasn't doing much, I wasn't doing anything which people can see a difference, from the outside. But I could feel the difference in me. Something is changing. A little by a little.
I've been reading "Tuesdays with Morrie". It's not a thick book. But I am using a longer time to read this book. I can't exactly finish reading it in days. Because the phrases in the book always make me think. I'd read the sentences over and over again, to get what the author is trying to express, what Morrie is trying to tell Mitch. And I admit that sometimes I don't get what he's trying to say. I get what those words mean, but not the true meaning that well, Morries is saying. I disagree with some of the things that were said in the book, though. There was a strong debate between the words I read, and the way I think. That made me think, a lot. Maybe I am just.. you know, not there yet. Still young, after all.
What's right, and what's wrong? How do you determine that?
Last night, I had this thought to blog about 'trust'. I didn't, because that thought wasn't enough to motivate? me to blog about it. So I ignored it. I'd thoughts about all these while that I lived, what trust meant to me. The feeling when I lose trust in somebody, the feeling of being trusted by somebody, the feeling I get when I try to convince myself to learn to trust more.
Just after I published my previous post, I received a text message. I was expecting to be a reply from somebody whom I texted a few hours ago, but it wasn't. It was a very unexpected text message from a person whom I always love to talk to, but he doesn't seem to like long conversations much. Therefore, I'd always try not to disturb a person like that. Some people enjoy the company of the work and self, or maybe you should say, some people don't like communicating with electronic devices.
I don't like it either. I'd prefer talking to somebody face to face. I don't like the idea of Facebook, status updating (which tell people what you're doing or what you've done, not referring to awesome quotes that I find), nor the idea of twitter.
Do you still recall, when was the last time when you would do something, without actually telling the whole world about it? Do you still recall the days when people don't talk about love as easy as they do now? It seems like things are completely different now. Each time I read a status about love, I'd think, if it hurts so much, can you even bear typing and posting it as a status? If it really does hurt, and if it really does matters, can you actually stand looking at your own status which is talking about something which is hurting you deep inside? If it really hurts, will you even make it your status, as though it's reminder?
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't. Maybe you can say I'm not strong enough, but I can't bear looking at those words which can kill me from the inside. Well, words are more powerful than you think.
'...What do you think of trust?'
I read the text message. I was surprised, like, very surprised. By this friend of mine. It felt as though he could read my mind. & He just sort of reminded me the fact that I wanted to blog about 'trust'.
'Trust? Years to build, seconds to break.'
How long do you take, to get to know somebody, before it's safe to tell that you've known this person enough, and you trust them? Trust them not in the way which they won't betray, but trust that you're part of their lives, not a big part but a small one. Trust in the sense which you believe that you know them well as well, and you guys are close.
How long do you take, to get close to somebody and place a great deal of trust in them? To trust and believe in your friendship?
Trust is such a big thing. Trust somebody that they will do the work that you asked them to, trust somebody to not tell anyone your secrets, trust somebody that they are honest with whatever they said, trust somebody with your properties etc. etc.
I guess most things won't work if you don't trust.
'Trust everybody, just not the devil in them.'
I can relate to this line really well. I have to trust many people that I barely know. In fact, I've to learn how to trust somebody, more. I have to have the will to place a great deal of trust in somebody. I have to learn this, and it's difficult for me. I guess I'm afraid of dissapointment. I have to learn how to trust that everyone has a good side in them, and not judge them by the words they say, and sometimes, the action they take.
That's difficult.
'Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.'Tuesdays With Morrie | Mitch Albom
However, there's this huge difference between trust and believe. Which I can't quite put the difference into proper words, yet. I will blog about this, someday when I find the right words.
But well, did you notice that, trust is the first element that you'll need, in order to lie to somebody?
Goodnight!
