Just a brief update on what I've been up to lately. I haven't been blogging in a while, and that's giving me a little difficult to start. Okay I shall start from trials. My results were fine. I am not satisfied at all to be honest. But then I haven't really been satisfied about anything at all when it comes to result. Okay, the best result I've gotten for trials was Sejarah - which is very unexpected - an A+ without upgrading & hectic studying. That's pretty strange .. and unfair. Frankly speaking, I wouldn't like it if I fail the paper of course, but I was prepared to. I didn't think I deserve a 'B' at all for a person who studies the night before. So this is one of the strange & lucky moments in my life.
ok so overall my trials were fine. The sugar coated result will be 5A+ 2A and 3 A-. I was pretty scared for SPM then, because I was so unprepared. And I expected myself to be super prepared by trials. Haha. So I started my revision, with one week one Science subject and endless exercises for Add Math and the Past Year Papers. Hence during my study leave - I spent the entire 2 weeks on Sejarah and only Sejarah. Okay sometimes a lil' of add maths. Sometimes.
I am having my 10 days break now, before I go back to school for my Moral, Add Maths and Physics paper. Im pretty worried for Add Maths, my add maths is ... yeah if I can actually find a proper word to describe how terrible it really is. Like, I am not even joking.
The first 4 papers (BM, English, Math and Sejarah) were more difficult than expected. Maybe not for Math Paper 2, but Paper 1 was about Wesley's trial paper's standard. Sejarah was way more difficult than past year papers, all the tips didn't appear on the exam paper. Got the shock of my life even though I didn't study tips, but yeah, was a tricky paper for a memorizing subject. They've got a nice passage for English Comprehension, pretty touching. I think my essays are too long, but my handwriting is pretty big so ... should be fine :) For BM, I wrote an essay which I've never written similar one throughout my entire 2 years being an upper secondary student. Seriously. Since we have been focusing a lot on jenayah and stuff like that, and the topic was a positive one which is faedah menyertai program motivasi ... Another mini surprise during exam. Pray all these mini surprises won't appear during Science papers.
Mei Yeen: The blazers will keep us forever as one.
...but I just sold my blazer. HAHAHA.
Leavers' Service for us wasn't a service at all. We didn't have have our personal time together, the speeches were formal, no cheesy moments, not at all. We celebrated - if that's even the accurate word - with the rest of the school, together with Christmas Celebration as well, and had a free lunch in a not so orderly manner. Brought my Polaroid camera and snapped a few photos with the loved ones. Sadly I lost my phone, yes again, so I won't be able to upload them in a while. I don't intend on getting a new phone anytime soon though. I really am tired of even taking care of a damn pricey phone.
I didn't lose my phone, I saw it coming - 6 super tall men - they stole my phone, I had no where to run to because KTM is so damn crowded. One stepped on my foot to distract me and the other took from my pocket - stole from my pocket to be exact - and 3 or maybe 4 men at the back of me blocking me from escaping. How nice. Imagine yourself being observed (if I can think of a more suitable word -.-) for an hour at the station. Okay so conclusion is my phone got stolen and I am never going back to using public transport anymore. Not in a trillion years, if that's possible.
Okay back to Graduation! So loads of pictures were taken. Loads of hugs here and there. Saying that we will miss other, laughing and joking around for one last time before facing SPM, and pretending that we will be back after the 2 months break.
So, no more long long holiday, no more first & mid term break, no more easy Math, no more Hari Raya meal from Pn Noor, no more board meetings, no more minutes to prepare, no more last minute duty list, no more exercise books, no more caring teachers who will actually scold you, no more class intervals to sleep etc. etc.
It hits me pretty hard to know that this list of 'No More' will only get longer and longer and longer. Endless.
After 11 years (:
So I changed my blog header again. I change it quite often, and the design doesn't change hahaha. I always have the urge of doing something different and end up prefering stuff like that. Simple.
I have been very confused recently - so there goes my blog title - It all started since months ago. I can't stop thinking about what I've lost along the way, or more like the things that I've missed out along these 2 years of busy and fruitful life. I'd always say I have no regrets because I have done my best but recently I realized that I've lost and missed a few things along my way.
Maybe it wasn't all of my mistakes, but I believe I contribute to most of them. It's so complicated that I don't even know how to explain. As I grow older it gets more and more difficult to differentiate between right and wrong. Relationships become burdens at times. At a point of time people stop trying to fix a relationship because it's not meant to be fix. Okay well, that's me, and the people around kept on telling me this and that - they are not scolding nor blaming - but it makes me feel horrible, then I start to doubt myself, maybe my best ain't enough after all.
But then high school had already ended, right or wrong, honestly it doesn't matter much. We are going to move on with our lives and that's it. It still hits me though, 5 years of friendship, so that's all I've got?
You see, relationship is a really funny thing.
It also hits me pretty hard when I am so stubborn about what I think I've lost along the way, because I know I should be thankful and all, but yeah I am having this complicated thought at times. But it's not very strange actually, it happens throughout my entire life - this thing about only being able to mix well with people older than my age. Trying isn't enough, at least that's the only picture I see right now.
Haha, enough of ramblings.
Read this from Kai Sin's blog, pretty relatable at the moment.
“Lots
of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships
between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You're aboard
a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is
boarding a different ship, and you just can't be with each other
anymore.
Because
you shouldn't be.”
-C.JoyBell.C
Okay, no more school uniform as well. I'm gonna have fun picking outfits every morning ._.
I really should start studying. Have been out the whole day. I think I am gonna have loads of fun rushing through all the experiments. Or maybe I won't read at all ._. Ah bad thought bad thought.
Not a very very nice song. But the music video is pretty good.
We are all like that, aren't we?
