Throughout the past few weeks after SPM ended, I have finally learnt the fact that the older you get, the more decisions you have to make - and most of them are life-changing decisions. Of course this fact has always been known but knowing & accepting are two completely different stories.
In short, SPM was alright. It's better than alright actually. I would say Biology was rather difficult for me, judging that I had no idea how to get full marks for certain essays - which is quite a big lost - but overall all subjects were fine. Chinese Language was the toughest paper among all 10 subjects, but it was a challenging and pretty enjoyable test I would say. One of the passages was so deep & meaningful that it took me a long time to understand it - but the questions were too tough for a 17 years old to answer because it involves a lot of life experiences.
Here's a few of my favorite phrases from the passage:
既然道路是弯曲的，也就需要我们不断地告别原来的方向；既然有绝壁和死胡同，也就免不了要告别原来的执著。不会转弯和回头的人，在曲折坎坷的人生旅途中，要么就会失控，要么就得停滞；不论多么悲壮，不管多么悠闲，都没有任何意义。
要拥有某些东西，就必须彻底告别另一些东西。告别了懊恼与颠狂，才会以纯粹的心情去塑造自信与沉着；告别了庸俗与浅薄，才能以平静的心态绘制高雅与深沉。
告别了一个朋友，是因为我们还要去造访另一个朋友；告别了昨天，是因为我们已经走到了今天。
I have finally made up my mind to go to Sunway University College for my A-Levels studies. Taking up Cambridge A-Levels and I sincerely hope that's the correct choice. And I am still facing dilemma - whether which are the suitable subjects to pick - should I pick Psychology or Physics. Everyone says Physics is important for the application to most universities but Physics is my weakest subject whereas Psychology is one subject that I would really want to give it a shot.
I still don't know what sort of career should I go for after my A-Levels studies. Nothing seem right .. nor wrong. I feel the same way for most of them. Law, Psychology or Pharmacy. So here's the story, if I were to pick up Pharmacy, then it would be better for me to take Physics during A-Levels. If I were to pick Psychology, it would be better for me to pick for Psychology as one of the subjects because that gives me a brief idea of whats going on in Psychology. However, there's quite a low chance for me to pick up Psychology during uni because the duration is longer compared to Pharmacy. So for the sake of saving time and taking into account financial issue, pharmacy seems to be a better choice. But then if I take Physics in A-Levels (which means Pharmacy in uni), when I apply for uni, the same question would pop up again - Pharmacy or Psychology? since I have not tried Psychology before, there would be the uncertainty that I might or might not do well - I would face the same dilemma again, I wouldn't be satisfied later on if I pick Pharmacy and I wouldn't be completely okay with the choice of picking Psychology since it might seem risky. That's why, seriously, I don't know what to do now, should I just flip a coin, close one eye, and make up my mind quickly? Sigh.
As for Law, it was first on my list when I was younger - well when I was younger I had a pretty long list - but the older I get, the more I lose faith in this thing called Law. I mean, I don't believe in it, it feels more like a tool, a manipulative tool. This is just my personal opinion, no offence to all lawyers and those who are studying law, but yeah, Law is still one of the options, third on the list. Well, my mum would like it if I choose Law. I somehow have this urge to just go for it - since I am pretty good at talking - but that makes no difference because I can't speak BM fluently - if I were to get a job here. My mum thought it would be better if all three of us are in different fields. I understand the message that she's trying to deliver and well, it's not like I am very very into Pharmacy either, whereas for Psychology I am afraid that I will just go crazy at a point of time - I mean who knows right? Anything can happen. I honestly do not trust myself that much when it comes to emotion control. So maybe again, close one eye and pick Law and face whatever problems calmly as they come.
My parents said most importantly I choose what I love. Ha, what do I love? I honestly don't have an exact answer. Because I believe besides loving the subject, you need to certain natural talent - to be good at it naturally, no not being a genius, but the 'click' you get when you're studying. Because seriously, that 'click' is so important (at least for me) to maintain my love for that particular thing - whatever that is. Sitting down reading at the book for hours will help, but not much if that's not something you're good at. Oh yes let me quote Einstein - the quote explains what I want to express - "Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish based on its ability to climb a tree, it would live its whole life believing that it is stupid" - So basically I am searching for that particular natural talent that I have, that 'click'. Well, everyone has it I believe, it's just that some people never really get the chance to discover it even until their final breath. But yeah I don't want to be the fish, I understand people make mistakes to learn, but seriously, not this one.
I am pretty good at languages, I don't practice so I am not exactly great. But when I do, I pick up quite fast. But spending my entire life studying a particular language .. Maybe I should give it a second thought.
Alright alright, enough of ramblings. I just needed to get everything out of my head and blogging seemed to be a good choice. Oh yeah, so I went to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale today and it was great! Got loads of books at very cheap price. I got several books which are the compilation of letters from the popular people to their younger self. Seems good for me at the moment. I really need some advice and I hope to find relevant ones there.
Speaking about books! I lost Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie ): This is such a tragedy for me omg. I love that book but I have absolutely no idea where it is .... I remember lending it to somebody - maybe my sister's friend, but I can't be sure. Gosh. Ah Dhanya told me Pride and Prejudice is pretty good but I stopped reading after a short while because it's difficult for me to understand cause of the way they speak. I will give it another try later on after I finish another book. Can't wait :D
Alright that's all for now. Prom this Friday! Can't wait to meet the girls. yay me :) Oh and Cranberry tea isn't as good as it seems. Sorry for the randomness. Have a good week! :)
Ah, I read this from the internet, and it's so true.
這是一個容易曖昧，卻談不上愛的時代。
seems relevant.
