& That's What Everybody Thought ♥

Cause this pain I feel it won't go away,

and today I am officially missing you.

I thought I wouldn't blog in a month but here I am, having this urge to say something.

Hoping somebody is right there, asking me "Hey, how are you?".

then I could happily, with a light smile on my face, and say "I am fine, thank you".

Didn't have a chance to do so, but it's okay.

She said I said 'it's okay' too much when sometimes things ain't right at all.

Yes I do feel that it's alright. As many times I tell myself it's okay, it will turn okay, and I will tell myself, numerously, that it's okay, you're fine.

& then I am alright.

I really didn't lie, I told her.

But then, unexpectedly, I felt like I was broken, for less than a month, I felt like I was in pieces.

I was so afraid to log into my blog, I was afraid that once I start blogging I would break down again, crying endlessly, hopelessly without anybody there for me.

But then again, here I am, without knowing why, expressionlessly typing, with 4Men's songs playing over and over again.

Officially missing you.

All I hear is raindrop, falling on the roof top, baby tell me why you had to go?

Everyone thought it was because the phone, it was because I was nothing like my best friend, it was because my pessismistic nature and little bit of jealousy.

& that's what everyone thought.

Nobody knows the truth and I don't have the plan to inform them either.

They really can think the way they want to, not that I don't care.

What can I do even if I do care?

Nothing, I can't explain anything.

Silence is sometimes the best explanation, over and over again I told myself.

Over and over again, I told myself, forgive and forget.

Nothing to forgive but please forget.

Over and over again, I tell myself.

But then again, it didn't work.

Almost a month not blogging, for the first time in my life, I hope there'll be no readers out there.
I don't mean log in every single time to be emo and complain about life.
I am not complaining, really, I am just saying. And those are nothing but words.